The Rugby will be Broadcast on the Television Shortly

Rugby’s comin’ on telly innit?
isson now in a minnitt.
Arf’narf done frarf time,
plenty uf Brain’s an’ a crate uf wine

Boys’ll be ova now in a bit,
Dai’n ‘iz brawd, ‘oozas twp aza tit,
but keep ‘im tidy an’ he’ll be fine
dippin’ leeks in ‘iz glass o’wine

“Wara teg, butt, shove up mun!”
I only went’check the curry’s done
an Dai’s brawd parked iz fat arse
in my bloody seat an’ the game’s gonna start!

They’re comin out, they shut the roof,
they got bangerz’n sparklerz’n fire goin’ off.
Don’t give a toss for all that crap, mun;
“SHURRUP now twat, iss time for the anthem.”

The boyz are all cwtchin now look,
hands on their arts
beltin’ “Hen laid yn hadduck”
an’ “Gwlad bloody Gwlad”
Can’t hear a thing over ourselves,
drinkin’n linkin’ an’ singin’ in Welsh.
I’ma patriot right, an’ I know all the words
can’t speak’m but still ‘ope the old lingo endures (innit?)

Shoulda seen the place butt, after we scored,
arms in the air, Brains on the floor.
Ach-a-fi mind, the place is a tip
but full’f ‘appy Taffies innit?

So after the game right, we ate all the grub
decanted then, down to the pub
where “Evans the Bread” stood a pint oniz ed
and sang ‘Myfanwy’ – in the key of Chubb!

We sang til we ached and laughed ourselves ‘oarse
fedw gaib, an’ still wantin’ more.
10 o’clock an’ Dai’s brawd’s in the loo
‘finger-throatin’ see, makin’ more room!

I admit we left a bit of a mess,
a beer-mat got tore – an’ I ‘aff t’cunfess,
when I tipped that beer on the barmaid’s vest
I didn’ think she’d tell me to rub it in her chest!

6 Nation victors, Triple Crown or Grand Slam?
Plucky losers, wooden spoonists? Couldn’t give a f**in’ damn.
Duw Duw mun, iss always great
watchin’ the match on the telly with all my mates.
(Innit?