Fighting Ghosts.

“Here’s the pain I didn’t know how to name at the time… but here’s how it lived in me.”

As childhood fades,
memory tells untruths,
perils of existence
are like medals one accrues.
Abuse silently absorbed
and all anguish endured,
psycho-genesis of sickness
immutable, uncured.

Thus I started fighting ghosts.
With pyrrhic victories to boast,
became insanely engrossed
in battle with my ghosts.

Years unfolded,
girls put on their style.
I learned how to fracture dreams
with sequestered heart; unbroken smile.
Ignorance and pride
widened the divide
and still undiagnosed
I kept on fighting ghosts.

I was fighting ghosts then,
even though I lost to them,
kept that smile on my lips when
I was fighting ghosts.

Good friends came and went
I broke all codes and rules.
Life was bitter, dark and lonely,
soundtracked by howling blues.
A haunting, spectral choir,
mournful hymns and laments
while I flailed against phantoms
in hideous torment.

Yes, I was fighting ghosts then,
and the more that I lost to them
I began to doubt the value when,
I was fighting ghosts.

Standing at the crossroads
of contentment and distress,
spawning in confusion,
ignorantly blessed.
Gazed into shrouded rivers
saw who was looking back,
smote the rippling reflection
before it could attack.

Seeds effloresce and fly
this father learned to cry,
now, when history comes haunting
I can kiss the ghouls goodbye.

Rather tired of fighting ghosts now
so made myself another vow;
with this advice I thee endow,
give up on fighting ghosts.

Souls will not lie,
shadows can’t deny,
phantoms will not cry
and spirits never die.