Still Here.

Morning does not ask permission.

It turns its pages, sharp as frost,

and writes our names in ink that dries too fast.

Bills pester. Doors expect opening.

Time keeps its boot on the stair.

.

Inside, something is ripped

a single page torn from your history.

Your mind fraying like rope being dragged over a blade.

No one taught us this part,

that adulthood is not so much an arrival as

endurance dressed in ordinary clothes.

.

We were raised on endings that tidied themselves.

Rain that knew when to stop.

Pain that bowed out at the final page.

Happily ever after.

Then the world corrected us, without malice,

without apology:

There is no crescendo to announce our survival.

.

So we learn the art of showing up.

We button shirts though our hands shake.

We answer questions we can’t feel because we can’t pretend otherwise

We use muscles to smile trained by habit, rather than joy.

I’m not sure if this is hypocrisy or scaffolding?

.

Kindness, here, is practical.

It is the cup of water you force yourself to drink.

The breaths you take which are much longer

than despair will justify.

It is speaking gently to the self you

were taught to whip into action.

.

Make no mistake, this is brutal work.

There are days the body slips into grooves

while our spirit is dragging its heels,

leaving behind it a long, invisible furrow.

There are days courage feels

exactly like exhaustion.

And yet,

somewhere beneath the wreckage,

a small, stubborn engine hums.

Not hope exactly. Nor optimism.

Something quieter.

A refusal.

You take one step.

Not because it will save you.

Not because it promises anything.

But because stopping would be a lie

to yourself; and you are done

with adding lies to the pile.

.

This is how we are:

not heroic but at least we’re here.

Not healed, still carrying wounds yet

Carrying ourselves when no one else can.

Being, at last, the witness we waited for.

If there are miracles in this life,

they rarely shout.

But they may whisper, hoarse and steady:

Still here.